


The Purrfect Plan

by Insectopedia



Category: Lazy Town, LazyTown
Genre: Drabble, Gen, I was going to incoporate this into a bigger fic but it didn't work lol, Just the good old Trash Man (tm), My mouse died today so I was thinking about pets, No ships or any other characters really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 18:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8811256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insectopedia/pseuds/Insectopedia
Summary: Robbie Rotten takes a break from trying to kick Sportacus out of town and instead focuses on banishing...a cat?





	

A little known fact, Robbie Rotten has a cat.

No, no, he isn’t some friendly animal lover who goes out of his way to crochet cute little blankets for stray cats and dogs. Infact, he didn’t even want a cat in the first place but apparently, the dumb animal didn’t understand how much Robbie disliked it.

Their ‘companionship’ (if it could be called that) started one late night as Robbie was walking back home from the convenience store. The tall man hated shopping. He hated the crowds and the cash registers-all the fruits and vegetables glaring at him. So, he usually did all of his grocery shopping right after most of the town went to bed. His options were of course limited by his odd shopping preferences but, lucky for him, he loved the aisles of cheap junk food and minimal ‘necessities’ the 24/7 convenience store offered. It was the perfect place for him to shop.

Anyways there he was, walking home with multiple heaping bags of junk food in either hand when suddenly-  _ Plopp. _

That was the sound one of his bags made when it broke. Looking down, he saw that it was filled with an already half melted ice cream cake that had broken open and was now stickily pooling on the lamplit concrete. Normally, Robbie would have been devestated at the loss of such a delicious treat but the realization that maybe Sportaslop or one of the town brats would slip on it made him apathetic enough not to despair. 

Just as he was beginning to walk away, though, he heard leaves crunch from the bushes to his left. Suddenly, he scrunched up with his shoulders shooting as high as his ears. He felt his face making an an ugly frowning as he tried to peer into the impenetrable darkness. A moment passed and then another with nothing else moving but, just as he was opening his mouth to demand an explanation, the silence was broken when a final rustling was heard and then the ugliest cat in the world pattered out.

It had mangey silver and black hair which flopped crazily in every direction. With in the long fur more then a few leaves and twigs had been ensnared but, even worse then the look and smell the fur exuded (which made Robbie's nose crinkle up as he took a step back from the approaching beast) was it’s face. Horribly flat with big puffy upper lips and eyes the color of mud, it somehow almost looked sweet as it stared up at the tall man. Robbie verbelized his disgust as he shuffled backwards. All he could think of was how repulsive the creature was as he watched it stop at the growing puddle of icecream and then bend down to quickly lap it up. Growing slowly less tense as he watched the cat (if it could be called that) shake it’s little stub of a tail as it happily ate the ice cream, Robbie mumbled “Good! You can have it.” ,and briskly continued his walk home.

He didn’t see the cat for a few more days until after he was in costume as a wrestler. He was preparing to challenge Sportarip to a wrestling competition in order to get him to be embarrassed enough to leave town only to feel something slick with grease rub up against his leg. The grown man almost shrieked as he looked down and saw the same greying creature from before, looking up with big loving eyes as it made another attempt to run it's body against his leg. The man could hear the beasts's thunderous purrs as he clumsily fell while trying to escape the monstrosity with another yelp. The cat took the fall as a sign that it was okay for it to crawl up Robbie’s lap and onto his chest. It used it’s unclipped claws to do so and ended up poking so many holes in the stuffing and wire filled suit that it was ruined. Robbie ended up having to run home, his plan foiled before it was even revealed.

The third time Robbie saw the cat was in his own home. There wasn’t a logical way for the old feline to have gotten inside his bunker but one day, Robbie woke up sneezing only to open his eyes and see nothing. He screamed and sat up from his orange chair only to feel claws on his scalp and chin. Yelling heartily, he continued to run around his house in an almost comedic attempt to pull the frightened cat from his face but there was nothing funny about the scratches that were left behind.

Over the next few days, as he sulked inside and bemoaned the loss of a flawless face, the cat snuck in at least a dozen more times. Robbie tried his best to create barriers and machines to keep the furry atrocity out but nothing he did seemed to work. The cat always found a way in and, usually, broke a few very important things in the process. It soon became the villians mission to get the cat (which he had started calling Ugly) out of lazy town. (Not that he had forgotten Sportacus or anything just that the cat was becoming more of a nuisance then the blue elf.)

It took a few tries but eventually he managed to catch the beast in a simple hole. It was mind boggling to him how after all the Cat Snatcher 4500s and the Feline Entwiner 300s were batted aside like crunchy fall leaves that it was a simple hole (which he actually had planned to fill with a simply diabolical contraption) that the cat was caught in. His back was turned when he heard the simple _Whump_ and spun around to find it in the 4 foot deep hole looking up at him with sickeningly  _ cute  _ eyes. Robbie took a minute to celebrate, gloating wildly as he realized the cat was now powerless and he could finally use his CATapault 5001 to finally get it out of town but after he calmed down and lifted up the icky animal, he found himself unable to complete the last step in his positively genius plan. He didn’t know what it was (or atleast he chose not to think too hard on it) but he found himself putting the cat safely on the ground and turning his head to look in a different direction as it walked slowly away.

  
The next time the cat came into his lair he didn’t lift a finger to throw it out.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic i've ever posted... wow.  
> This was just a quick thing that didn't fit into any of the other things I was writing. I'm not too happy with it and I know there are a few errors but constructive criticism is still welcome!
> 
> Oh also, I might edit this with some art i'm dying to draw Ugly (the cat) sitting on Robbie's lap.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!


End file.
